Know Who You Are

“When you know who you are, you don’t have to live down to who other people want you to be.”~ Rev. Dr. Rudolph McKissick, Jr. (Hampton Minister’s Conference 2010)

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. (Romans 12:3 NIV)

While listening to the comments and backlash from General McChrystal’s recent commentary in the upcoming Rolling Stones article I was pulled out of a writing slumber to share some thoughts on the need for us to know who we are.
Allow me first a disclaimer; I’m not judging General McChrystal, nor his comments, as everyone is entitled to their own opinion. My issue with the entire matter is the apparent confusion he has with his own identity. His position as a subordinate to the Commander in Chief, Vice President and other cabinet members is one that needs to be both publicly respected and privately recognized for what it is- subordinate. By definition a subordinate is one who is “placed in or belonging to a lower order or rank; one who is subject to or under the authority of a superior.” While one can certainly hold a viewpoint that is contrary to that of the superior, for one to verbalize said opinion, particularly in the presence of strangers, (strangers who in this case work for a major publication) reflects the highest degree of insubordination.

In this instance, the issue of insubordination becomes even murkier because it is connected to an identification of one’s allegiance, one’s integrity, one’s loyalty even to the values and ideals of the organization for which one is a “representative.” As the “representative” of the Commander in Chief to the thousands of soldiers fighting on behalf of the citizens of these United States, it is imperative that Gen. McChrystal at least give the impression that he is in agreement with the vision of the organization he represents. There’s an old Rhythm and Blues song that says, “if your heart isn’t in it why leave me hanging on?” We must know who we are and know the limits of what we will accept, where we will go, what we will say and how much we will tolerate; more than this though we must become bold enough to speak to and tell the one who can do something about our disagreeableness- not a news reporter- the truth.

When we don’t know who we are though, or when who are is connected to our pay, our standard of living, or some other material aspect we easily succumb to pressures from others to think more highly of ourselves than we ought. Our society has become so lax in the acknowledgment of rank and respect that it is commonplace for people to ignore the formerly normative codes of decency and respect. Accordingly, we teach our children to be forthright, independent, and strong willed but we fail to identify for them the boundaries within which those attributes are to be expressed. It is no wonder when the children we raise in our homes will back talk their teachers, peers and even family members because to them, “they’re just expressing themselves.” Be clear, self expression is a right and privilege enjoyed in the United States and other “developed” countries, but there MUST be a return to some standard of respect, decency, and order that acknowledges, everyone is not “equal” in the realm of worthy confidant. Not everyone is afforded the luxury of speaking their own mind without worry of backlash because simply put, people’s lives, and our communal harmony and safety are all on the line whenever we speak words out of place. Whenever we step beyond the bounds of who we are, when we forget where we are and where our words are falling, we run the risk of endangering people unnecessarily. Beyond the child’s expression of “sticks and stones” words out of place can and do hurt the speaker and others connected to the weight of who we are. . .